Month: January 2021 (page 1 of 2)

La Desgracia

La desgracia de mi vida
Fue quererte a ti
Mas que mis otros errores
El dolor de mi amor
Por ti me deje caer
Sabiendo quien eras tu
Desde que te conocí
Y aunque te ofrecí quien soy
Y todo quien he sido y quien seré
Solo me distes mentiras
Y promesas falsas para tenerme
A tu lado a tu conveniencia
Y me tiraste al suelo
Como tanta basura
Cuando por fin te aburriste
De mi humanidad
Que inconveniente es
Una mujer de sangre y piel
De pensamientos y sentimientos
En lugar de una muñeca
Hecha de madera y pintada
De la manera que tu prefieres

This poem was originally shared over at Phoenix Fire Press on July 06, 2020.


Being born Catholic is like being born cancelled
I heard someone once say
From your earliest days you are taught to apologize
For your fallen state
To beg mercy from an authority both benevolent
And capable of a terrifying rage

I realize now, though my faith has changed,
There is wisdom in the saying
To err is human, to forgive divine
For as a human I have erred
And forgiveness is hard to find
Even from myself
My life is like a bookshelf
Filled with volumes, filled with stages
I have lived—and how I’ve aged!

30 year old me cringes reading 20 year old me
And 40 year old me will cringe reading 30 year old me
And 60 year old me will cringe reading 50 year old me
And 80 year old me will cringe reading 70 year old me
And beyond the veil, Dead me
Will cringe while reading Living me

I’m sure that I’ve walked darker ways
Within my mind and heart
While searching for the light
Than within the world at large
And in another kind of life
Someday, perhaps, I’ll have to pay

Yet every moment, every day
I shed my skin—it's a new life that I live
I want to scream that I have changed
And learned the value of Forgive

I’m sorry for the times I’ve laughed
At someone else’s cost
For the judgments that I’ve passed
Gone unsaid, they’re still not lost
Upon my psyche—who I’ve been
And who I still fight, to this day

The ignorance, inherited
A debt which I cannot repay
Change happens from within so
Looking back, it’s hard to see
Who you have been in wild pursuit
Of who you hoped to be
Until you realize that who you are
Is not yet all the you that you could be

And age has made me feel
For those who’ve seen the error of their ways
Born ignorant of everything
We’ve had to learn along the way

And even in a life that’s mean
Some love may be alive
May find a way to grow and change
Some goodness yet may thrive

Separate the wheat from chaff
In both ourselves and others
Saint or sinner? What a laugh!
We’re sisters here, and brothers

Just people stumbling and faltering
Though words and deeds are right or wrong
No life is worth discarding  
For in this world we all belong
So without patronizing
And whether curse or blessing has befallen
Me—I’ll live my life apologizing
For my state of being fallen

I originally shared this over at Phoenix Fire Press on June 09, 2020.

The Sunflowers

I’m so pleased to announce that I’ve submitted, “The Sunflowers,” to KDP as an ebook. It’s now available for pre-order and will go live on Monday, February 1st!

I’ve added it as part of the new series of short stories I’m releasing, The Abiding Fascinations of an Eclectic Mind.

The Sunflowers

James moved to a small town in the south to start over. His idea was to have plenty of time to work on his hobbies as he rebuilt his law career. Unfortunately, his business demands are eating up all his free time.

As he struggles to become part of the community and make his dreams a reality, he becomes fascinated with an elderly man he often sees around town. Always alone and never in a hurry, the old man lumbers back and forth along Parish Road, lugging a beat up old cart full of who knows what to who knows where. James doesn’t know him—doesn’t even know his name—but decides he has to meet him.

When the opportunity presents itself, James reaches out to take it. Getting to know the elderly man at last, he finds more than he even knew he was looking for—a confidant, a teacher … and a friend.

June 04, 2020 in Buffalo, NY

Not a single heart 
among a nameless, faceless, uniformed mob
 Informed by a system intent to do more harm 
than good
 Uninformed of the way in which they wear a uniform 
that makes them see monsters 
beneath every hood
 And every mask—don’t bother to ask questions
 Answers don’t matter now 
as long as you stand 
with Black Lives Matter, man
 Knock an old man to the ground 
and walk away 
while his ears bleed
 Shoved him down without need, 
without cause built
 To offer help 
is to offer an admission of guilt
 That’s how you’re trained to see things 
instead of how to think 
things through 
in order to do the right thing
 Then claim he tripped and fell 
like how JFK’s brains just fell 
out of his head, too
 Whose law is at work in this disorder? 
And are there any borders you’re unwilling to cross 
to establish the right order?
 And what good could ever come of this, 
the way it is and the way it’s been, 
for anyone
—including you—
who isn’t sat atop the pyramid?
 It’s a scheme 
where they sell dreams 
to everyone who stands beneath 
their privilege 
 Because it seems 
as though there’s something 
more important for you to do 
 Than to be a brother or a sister 
to your fellow citizens
 Who you now see as merely wOkE denizens
 Of a world that’s rightfully yours, 
the lawfully good
 I would laugh if I could 
but it’s an awfully bad joke

This poem was originally shared over at Phoenix Fire Press on June 05, 2020.

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