Because we all love poems about heartbreak.
You, oh, my darling, Are simply a beast Delightfully wild In a world of dull things Trapped from your birth in a world full of sorrows Thrust into a life full of so much deceit Without any means to rise up like the others Sensing threats to your ego since ‘ere you could speak Such horrible strangeness perceived all around you And, wherever you turned, something new to be seen Afraid of your shadow and the world that surrounds you No patience within Yet you learn for you’re keen To make sense of the chaos of life as you see it There’s no sense in the madness at all So you deem Yet you’re caught in its midst as it spins all about you And it feels like a beautiful Terrible dream Still it spins How it spins Oh, so madly about you And why isn’t it just Just as mad And about you After all Isn’t it all All about you And, I, oh, my darling, Oh, how weak I have been Hefting burdens, learnt lessons—their cost, oh, so dear The wisdom of living I’ve earned from My failings—all this weight I have carried with me Through the years And the pressure of rising Through the pain and the worry To the call of a voice that lives in me, unseen Had me numb to the world of sensations Beyond me I lived only in shadows And, otherwise, dreams Blind by the smoke of your fire igniting Within me the fires I’d put out with my tears Moved by your face to a vivid recalling Of aged aspirations and infantile fears Thus, compelled by my memories and against all my senses, I whispered my sensings and knowings to you Through murmurs while spent lying tied up together In soft, gentle tones, poured my heart out for you With patience I tried to make sense of your madness And hoped that you’d reach to be free as I do But, you! Oh, you, sweet little darling You! Oh, you, wondrous, marvelous beast Equipped with such cunning, such faithless desires And an unceasing drive to gain more to feel pleased A need deep inside to wield power over all things To just use what you’re given and return not the least The more that I gave you The less that you cared And the more I adapted The less that you shared And for all that I lent of Myself to your deeds The less you invested In me and my needs I loved you Or tried to You wouldn't be loved You felt caged And restrained And unable to trust AND IT TOOK ME months of those cold, sleepless nights weeks of anxiety with my heart clenching tight days full of only the deepest despair and hours of hopelessly wishing you here to finally recognize to finally see I am not at all like you Oh, no I am ME And that which I need from myself is far more Than you’d need me to be in your life And what’s more All that I’d need you to be for us both Is more than you’re willing to be On your own Because I —oh, my darling— Am an ocean, you see I am vaster than any terrain Far more steep And deeper Than any place else that you’ve been I’ve my own driving forces I’ve my own paths to keep A duty to share of my life, my resources With all of the Earth and the life that she feeds For all of the creatures, the noblest and coarsest, Across every land that exists in my reach While the sound of my surf may have eased all your worries Lulling you into your most restful sleep And the sight of my body lying open before you, Filled you to your core with an unrestrained need The balm of my waters coaxed you to returning To cleanse and to rest—'twas your psyche I'd feed Recall that you walked upon just that one shore Only one, you decided, you’d ever explore And the truth is as simple as ever You see Though my love was unceasing I am not what you need What you need is the shallowest pool Of a woman Present only for you when you feel that you need A light, easy dip of yourself in her waters And never a worry of hers must you keep A gazing pool—watery surface of body Female, adoring, and eager to please Prepared to reflect just for you Your own glory Back to your hungry gaze on decree But who Of her own Has so little to offer Less to explore And with no pressing needs Someone with whom you can spend a few hours Pleasing yourself at your leisure and speed A beautifully wrought Gilded bust of a woman Perhaps you’d prefer On your travels to keep For your pride and your vanity Wholly unbounded Emerge from an ego unrestrained in its deeds And let’s not forget Your most weak, basest impulse A muddy little puddle Of a woman you’d need To look down on upon when you’re feeling inferior One who'll smile in assurance as she just lies beneath Offering up all the filth you desire And on whom you can wipe off your boots as you leave But, I, do recall, Am an ocean, you, beastie And, you, how you'd drown in my depths If you’d please Venture to try to and make sense of my waters Or the treasures I guard deep inside of my being For, there, in the furthermost depths of my darkness In the blackest of dwellings within me I keep … Where even your brutally large claws are powerless And even your sharpest of eyes cannot see Where your huffing and puffing of breath is quite useless And the strength of your muscles ceases to be … the secrets of life I’d have lovingly whispered In the furthest abyss of myself they now sleep So, off with you then Just be gone, darling beastie Shoo Oh, you sweet, simple, foul little thing How I hope you create the successes you’ve dreamed of May you live out the rest of your life with your things Happy, at last, as you choose to define it High upon your own opinions—rise with Daedalus' wings And let there be always and ever A woman Just one, maybe two Very well, then How’s three All of them of that one sort or another Ever available To echo your speech Lovely and easy and sparkling creatures Each fitting neatly in your fantasy niche To shine bright as their purpose And reflect from their surface Only the best and most beautiful things In the light that pours forth, While they drown in its worth, From their majesty, you—their own self-serving king Best of luck, oh, you would-be Pygmalion No Galatea exists for you yet Don’t you see A woman so empty inside never has been You would have to create the faux creature you seek For of flesh, blood, and bone are created We women Equal to you though you dare not agree And our lives aren’t empty at all, not without you No, it’s you who are empty You sad, little beast
I originally shared this poem over at Phoenix Fire Press but now it lives here. I held onto this one for a long time but decided it was time to share it with the world. That’s my trouble, you see? The whole putting-it-out-in-the-world part of being a writer and, worse, a poet.
I don’t enjoy analyzing my work for others but this one is pretty straightforward. There’s a lot of pain here—serious, soul crushing heartbreak—and yet I was happy when I wrote it. I finally felt free … and still feel free today.
I’ve learned a lot and am grateful for the lessons. I hope my Beast is doing well. I know I am.
You can head over to my Poetry page to read more of my poems, of course. But, don’t worry. They’re not all poems about heartbreak.
Although, I’m beginning to notice that melancholia may be a recurring theme in my work.
